I’m just going to throw this out there……...childhood sexual abuse and rape sucks.
For a lot of survivors of childhood trauma and sexual abuse we spend a lifetime trying to push away the memories, trying to forget, trying to be “normal” even though we may have spent a lifetime feeling like we are living in a world peering from the outside in. Living our lives the way we think we “have to” rather than living our lives authentically the way we choose.. Some of us may move through life believing we are nobody’s , that we are damaged goods, and may keep the suicide card ready to be played at a moment's notice. We may have grown up feeling worthless, never believing we were smart enough, pretty enough, good enough.
I am one of the lucky ones.
I am a survivor that stayed silent till the age of 42. I was never going to tell my secret. I believed in those early years that my worth was at a lower level than most, that I would probably die at a young age or that if people really knew my story of abuse they would blame me, find me disgusting and hate me as much as I hated myself.. I held my secret of childhood sexual abuse back in the recesses of my mind , not allowing myself to get close to the pain, checking out , always remembering the words of what was whispered in my ear , the whisper telling me to “ move my hand”, “lay still” . “ be quiet” and more …….
I say I’m one of the lucky ones because in my midlife I have found hope. Yes, I still struggle at times but I have a light in my soul that grows stronger every day. I have found my voice, and now take what was done to me so long ago by terrible people and have turned it around and have broken free from the chains they wrapped so tight around me so long ago.
I am one of the lucky ones because at a certain point in my recovery I realized that there is power in my words, in breaking my silence, in breaking down the lies of abuse.
I am one of the lucky ones because the cycle of sexual abuse stops with me. I’ve chosen to develop strength in my voice, use my experience to help others, and live out the mission I believe that was given to me to help protect others.bring light to the epidemic of childhood abuse, and use my experience to give hope to another.
No matter who you are ,if you were sexually abused as a child you have worth. The things that happened to you in those rooms, in the baths, in the spaces you lived, are not your fault. You did not cause these bad things to happen. Bad people caused these things to happen, they caused the negative voices in your head, the lies, the low self worth , nightmares, flashbacks, disgusting feelings and more.
There was nothing you could have done. You were a child, an innocent, and do not have to hold this blame anymore.
If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I ask you today to join me in giving voice, help yourself to find healing, shed the shame and shed the blame.
Our voices are our super strength and the more we use it the more we rise up.
Like the ever rising phoenix we can rise in truth knowing that today is the day we can change our lives. This day forward learn truth , find healing and more.
Join me on my mission of breaking the silence of childhood sexual abuse, educating communities, supporting survivors and helping reduce this terrible crime from affecting our youth.
The world needs a healthy you, there is no one else like you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Come Join Us In This Call Of Action
Elizabeth Sullivan
Founder and CEO of EmpowerSurvivors
Support, Educate, Prevent
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